charles
lonely
left door up for us
collapsed on floor Jon Hochschartner
5:04pm October 5th
sparse apartment Jon Hochschartner
5:05pm October 5th
man head injury with daughter keeps on repeating
open fracture leg bone sticking out Jon Hochschartner
9:21pm October 5th
her black hair spinning behind her.
9:32pm October 7th
Jon Hochschartner
12:28pm October 3rd
computer print outs
I saw Collette reading a piece of paper intently, and abruptly turned around and walked out. Jon Hochschartner
9:36am October 4th
a hot blonde next to me rolled her eyes. “They do this all the time.”
slide out first floor window. Jon Hochschartner
7:56pm October 4th
“I hope nobody’s dead.” I said not really caring. Jon Hochschartner
8:27pm October 4th
flight deck Jon Hochschartner
8:28pm October 4th
I found out later it was just because in the 70’s this is where the kids used to smoke pot. It’s funny how every class year thinks their the baddest bunch the place has ever seen. Jon Hochschartner
11:51pm October 4th
Jon Hochschartner
Today at 5:51pm
seemed like prepaid tour
Jon Hochschartner
Today at 5:52pm
old ladies, followed bus, never open, tried to blend in, but we were the only people there over five feet tall, under 70 years old and with Y chromosones.
Jon Hochschartner
Today at 5:53pm
It was the Clark’s day off. I was the only one with a car. Most of them weren’t from the adirondacks, so we decided to see the sights. Didn’t mind being used.
Jon Hochschartner
Today at 5:53pm
Took them to John Brown’s farm.
Jon Hochschartner
Today at 5:54pm
Gaurav, Indian camp counselor. Explained to him who John Brown was and what he did.
Jon Hochschartner
Today at 5:56pm
But he was confused. “So who killed him?”
“The U.S….the government.”
“And who set up this monument.”
“The government.” I said.
He just shook his head, and in that Indian accent said, “It’s the same in every country.”
I thought that was very wise.
“Sweet beard.” Dennis said.
“I know man, I’m going to grow one just like that.”
9:32pm October 7th
dad trip….raspy voice tube in throat for operation
9:34pm October 7th
So what did you do today” My dad would ask. I dreaded the question. Trying to think oup things beforehand to justify the past 16 hours of wakefulness.
I sat in a line of cars at my little sister’s elementary school. My sister was ten years younger then me. We were like two only children. My parents had trouble concieving after I was born as a result of my emergency birth and the upstate hick doctors who took care of her afterwards and fucked up her womb.
Alex was like a little brother to me. He called me “chicken boy” for unknown reason, and we wrestled and did other manly stuff Lucy wasn’t interested in. Every once and awhile he’d hug me and call me “daddy” in a baby voice. it was awkward because his parents were divorced and his real dad wasn’t really in the picture.
Zelda, WW2…..nagasaki, dresden, internment….forget all that, bask in nostalgia Jon Hochschartner
5:26pm October 2nd
I was a little wobbly on Nick’s bike. I think I was still drunk. Jon Hochschartner
7:35pm October 2nd
what does rogaine have that I don’t? Jon Hochschartner
12:12pm October 3rd
I went on to say that students had a moral imperitive to donate all their income beyond that which covered their basic needs to third world charity. No beer money, no money for extra clothes. With thousands of people dying every day of malnutrition, anything less was murder.
“I hope nobody’s dead.” I said, not really caring. Jon Hochschartner
12:21pm October 3rd
The theme of the party was “Forever Wild”, as in how the adirondacks by law had to remain “Forever Wild.”
Jojo walked into the cabin in a black two piece. She was covered in clay handprints that she and some of the other female counselors had slapped on with slop from the pottery shack. I wanted to be one of those handprints. She was militantly healthy, eating nuts, fruit and jogging. Great body.
She looked at me. “Are you coming?”
Jojo’s parents were missionaries, so she’d grown up in Africa. I loved how she said “Congo”. It sounded like she might have been putting on the accent a little bit, but it was still the sexiest thing I’d ever heard.
I opened a bottle of Pale Ale on the side of the cabin’s wooden table. The table was covered with years and years of camp grafitti, dating back to the 80’s.
“I don’t know,” I said, smiling drunkenly. “I’ve seen what you Africans look like naked in National Geographic, Jojo. It’s not that great. Kind of saggy.”
She gave me that exasperated look that I found fucking cute.
I laughed, standing up. “Yeah, I’ll come.” Jon Hochschartner
12:27pm October 3rd
We were walking down the hill, and I guess I blacked out a little bit, but when I came back I was in the arms of one of the kitchen staff girls, making out, rolling down the hill. I stumbled to my feet and continued down the hill to the beach.
All of a sudden all of these girls that I’d been thinking about naked for the last two weeks, stripped off their clothes, and they were.
I saw Brendens bare white ass run into the water. It was an image I could do without thinking about again.
I didn’t really want to skinny dip. I didn’t want to get naked, but I wanted to see Jojo, and I couldn’t just sit their and watch.
I ran into the freezing water in my boxers and dove under. Once I was waist deep, I threw my boxers to the shore.
I was doggy paddling out to the high dive with ten or so beers in me. I’m surprised I didn’t die.
9:35pm October 7th
I’m not sure why I did it. Girl’s loved it. And I’m only half joking.
jump suit too small
Late bloomer. Didn’t really have a belt with notches on it. But I almost did in my mind.
Like the cold war might have influenced a generation of kids to want to be astronaughts. It seemed like every red state boy and their mother wanted to be a firefighter post 9/11.
SIDS–gallows humour….crew crying in back even though there was nothing really I could do medically. What’s that smell? It smells like dead baby.
Low grade on written portion…crew chief wanted me to study with charie. sternum rub
biking humming
roommate and I passive aggressive lately
hippa
“Actually I’m not allowed to talk about it.” I said as seriously as I could. Hippa was a joke, everybody bragged about their calls.
Maybe had to do with che
i had no interest in the medical field
It was pretty morbid. We all waited hopefully for terrible accidents to crackle onto the radio to break the boredom. The worse the better. That was until about twelve when everybody wanted to go to sleep, but it never worked that way.
one week school sponsored trip against the war, next against abortion. At least they were consistent.
north campus was the ghetto of a rich private college
campus security rarely came up there
12 hour no substance policy, like airline pilots
but i was just the oxygen bitch
a couple of weeks later i’d be voted off the crew and it was such a relief.
I wore my unhappiness secretly like a badge of honor. To me, it was a sign of my commitment to the ’cause’. I had essentially ironed over my personality, so only those traits that helped me advocate remained. Flat like a politician. Perpetually upbeat, but inside feeling crazy and sad. I couldn’t tell people I was feeling sad because it was selfish and took attention away from poor third world people. I couldn’t tell people I was feeling crazy because it was selfish and people would assume I was crazy anyway because of the positions I was taking up.
But there was no room for motivation or anything like that then for me. It was just cold, utilitarian calculation of what was best.
Zelda, WW2 pick up kids
Summer
Hannah
Jojo
Pocock (on roof) girls who didn’t like me…must know something, have it going on
annika
dad’s trip to doctors
5:19pm October 9th
i hitchhiked into town
8:46pm October 9th
“I did something very bad.” She said hesitantly.
Honestly I didn’t care one bit about her one bit, or the fact she cheated on me. But I felt like I had to pretend I did.
11:45am October 11th
manufactured outrage, rest it and just bask in the nostagia and easy moralism of a good war that didn’t exist. Forget about Nagasaki, Dresden and internment.
11:47am October 11th
lay back chairs waiting room
11:47am October 11th
didn’t know the details of his deal, thought he had gone to the bathroom on himself
7:55pm October 11th
I walked out of her suite quitely so I didn’t wake up her roommates.
I walked out into the chilly morning air. Amanda lived in Purtle, which was located on North Campus, about two miles from the Saint Mike’s classrooms and cafeteria. In the world of a rich, private college, North Campus was the ghetto. All of the buildings were in a state of disrepair, so you got some money knocked off your boarding fee. And Campus security rarely made the trip up to there. I lived on North Campus too, but in a different building.
I picked the bike I was borrowing from my roommate Bill off the ground, and threw my leg over it. I started pedaling awkwardly toward the North Campus parking lot. I’d missed the bus, so I’d have to drive myself. I was pretty wobbly on the bike. I think I was still a little drunk.
7:55pm October 11th
get half an hour early
Today at 12:20pm
I stumbled out of Jack’s house, my sneakers slipping on the wet steps.
I opened the door to my station wagon and got in. I looked around in the dark for where the steering wheel was, but I couldn’t find it. I tried drunkenly to find a place to insert the key. Trying to force it into a crack on the dashboard. But it kept on slipping out of the groove.
I was on the wrong side. The passenger side. I rested my head on the dashboard, frustrated. But closing my eyes gave me the spins. I thought I was going to throw up.
So I got out of the car and walked around to the other side. The correct side. I opened the door and slumped down into the seat. I had a little trouble getting the keys in the ignition. But eventually I got it and turned on the ignition. I backed out.
When I had driven drunk in high school I thought I was safer driver then when I was sober. I drove thirty miles an hour the whole way home, hugging the right side of the road opposite the incoming cars.
Today at 4:11pm
I lit the wrong end. It didn’t burn properly and I realized I had lit the filter. I dropped it on the floor of the car and pawed for another. I lit it sucessfully. And started to doze off, my head drooping before snapping back up.
I woke up with a jolt when a bit of ash that had fallen on my lap burned through my pants. And burned my skin. I brushed it off frantically. I slapped myself to keep awake.
A couple of minutes later the police officer returned with my license. He tapped on my window and I rolled it down all the way.
He handed me a ticket. He told me to get my tail light fixed.
He looked me in the eyes suspiciously. I looked at him. He kind of looked like my Dad. Blue eyes and thinning hair. Muscular.
“You okay?” He asked.
“Yeah.” I said, too quickly.
He kept on looking at me, trying to figure something out. I met his gaze. Five seconds or so passed.
Reluctantly he said, “Okay, you’re free to go.”
